Lessons From Last Week Counseling in Tehachapi

Submitted by Doug Cowan on Fri, 02/27/2015 – 21:17

“I’m not good enough.”

Of all the counseling that I did last week in Tehachapi – Bear Valley Springs, and even the counseling in Bakersfield, this was the theme from most of the people that I met with for therapy. In one way or another they said, “I’m not good enough.” Depending on the topic, it meant “I’m not good enough to be loved” or “I’m not good enough for God” or “I’m not good enough to go to Heaven.” But that was the general point. And I’m pretty certain that many of us feel that way from time to time – but especially those who have been abandoned, rejected, abused, or betrayed in life.

“Does God Love Me?”

But maybe wondering if we are “good enough” isn’t the right question – at least when it comes to God, or eternity, or Heaven and/or Hell. Maybe the question that needs to be asked is “Does God love me?”

I love to address this in a counseling session. Does God love us? How does God feel about us? Is there some standard that we have to attain for Him to love us? Or does He just love us because He is our Father?

For those clients of mine who have been abused by “fathers” or have been rejected or abandoned by parents, this is still a hard concept to accept – that they can just be loved because God wants to love us – not because they somehow earned it. But they can usually come to the place of accepting this as truth. God loves us. And this is where I like to recommend the movie “Ragamuffin” and the follow up Youtube Video by Brennan Manning on the love of God. Please watch them both. They are wonderful and helping us to explore the difference between “I’m not good enough” and the truth that “God loves us…”

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., MFT
27400 Oakflat Dr
Tehachapi, CA 93561